OMG, My Life is Falling Apart...
Marisa was a successful financial planner who was constantly busy - she started to realize that every time she had plans with a friend and even family members, she ended up cancelling it - and now her phone rings less, and less and less… After hitting a wall — a real “OMG, my life is falling apart” I feel out of control, kind of moment — Marisa, one of my oh-so-awesome clients, realized her relationships were quickly deteriorating.
At the same time that she was reflecting on her struggling personal relationships, she was unexpectedly let go from her position, a company that she gave her heart and soul to, her blood, sweat and tears for nearly a decade…Marisa had climbed the corporate ladder achieving four promotions and was well known as the “over achiever, get it done, no matter what” kind of gal…
Life really came to a head. The gasket blew! Marisa was left feeling empty.
Not knowing how, Marisa knew it was time to figure out a way to gain control of her life, or quite possibly maybe it was like what the title said on the cover of the Oprah magazine, “Be intentional about living a life of meaning and true purpose….”, sounded good, but really, what the hell does that even mean…?!
All she knew was it was time to stop avoiding what was happening all around her, and time to tune into what was happening within herself to better understand how life had become so chaotic and disconnected. She had this constant nagging feeling that she was missing out on life -like connection with authentic, positive people, or watching the sunset rise and fall, enjoying the simple things just like she saw all over facebook and instagram - or even travel to see an incredible Seven Wonders Of The World….but the problem was there was this ever-powerful need to just keep busy, making everything in her life feel urgent and exhausting - so there really was no time for all the planning of the things that were nagging her of what she was missing out on, or was there? With no job, could this be the turning point to stop using work as an excuse and time to turn inward.
Marisa realized she had no real vision or direction — she was just living a roller coaster ride of many ups and downs, highs and lows — basically, whatever was put in front of her without any thought, she’d make that her “today” priority…
Forget self-love or self-care — what’s that? Instead she’d numb out her overstimulated mind each evening with a glass, or two, or three or, what the heck, the whole bottle of wine…only to fall asleep on the couch at 10pm, to roll into bed at 3am feeling groggy, and within minutes she was going through all the “urgent things to do”. And then, more often than not, that meant a sleeping pill to fall back to sleep, numbing the frenzied mind to “make everything go away”.
On top of it all, this pattern in her life meant her connections with others were superficial — no real depth — just instant and in the moment based on how she was feeling, and those connections were gone as fast as they began. She was so stuck in a cycle of depleting herself that she had nothing left to give!
And this is when Marisa reached out to me… she knew she didn’t want to continue to live life like that - waking up at 3am hungover on the coach each night as she rolled into bed until 7am to only feel exhausted in the morning, and to go to a job she didn’t even love, she knew she was meant for more…
I vividly remember asking her, of course without any shame or judgement, “could you be addicted to BEING busy? You know, that fast-paced life that gives you a lot of highs, a potential sense of purpose, a feeling of importance and a sense of accomplishment?”
The sheer look of “OMG, YES” on her face was undeniable as she responded, “quite possibly, but doesn’t everyone who’s climbing the corporate ladder, to some degree, feel this way?”
I told her, as I tell all my clients, “you may not realize it, but it’s actually a choice to feel that way…”
I share Marisa’s story because I want you to know that if you’re feeling like your life is stuck in this exhausting cycle of busyness, stress, and lack of self-care, you’re not alone -
And I also want you to know that you, too, can make the choice to change all of that — starting right now.
What if instead of constant busyness, you make one simple pivot that takes a mere 15 minutes a day? It’s 15 minutes where you simply pause, tune in with what’s happening inside you, and allow yourself to watch life unfold in a way that brings happiness regardless of what’s happening all around you.
Your 15-minute daily habit starts with a meditation practice.
Now, you may be thinking, “WHAT?! With this crazy fast-paced mind, that will never work with me”…
But the truth is that yes, even if you’re the ultra high achiever — the “go go go” super career-oriented woman and/or powerhouse mama — there ARE simple habits you can create in your life that can transform how you feel and lead you to a place of much deeper fulfillment and happiness.
I remember telling Marisa, and actually most of my high achieving clients, yes, even if you tried before, I want you to try again as there are so many options in meditation, and it’s in the consistency that you’ll break through and start to feel this beautiful physiological effect…
So, I encourage you to set your doubts aside and imagine this: what if in those 15 minutes it...
allows for greater happiness in your life as you stay true to your vision…
brings you to the present moment, vs worrying about the past that no longer exists and the future that you can’t control…
allows more appreciation and gratitude in your life, again, creating more happiness…
helps to reduce pain, anxiety and stress – yes, including chronic issues…
helps you to sleep solidly through the night – yes, even for 7 hours…
allows you to love more openly and forgive more often, and just let go and trust that all is well…
helps you to be focused and retain information, versus feeling scattered and overwhelmed…
allows for creativity to work its magic in all areas of your life…
allows for more self-control of your thoughts and actions…
allows you to stop numbing the pain with alcohol or sleeping pills, and instead fills you up with self-love…
And allows for deeper, authentic connection in all your relationships!
You CAN have all this!
Because, *hint*, it’s through repetition that we master anything in life! ;)
Marisa knew something had to change in her life, so she consistently tried different meditation options. She didn’t want to “sit in silence” — instead, she found a guided meditation that inspired her, drew her inward and fit with her personality, and she’s never looked back!
Today, two years later, Marisa has incredible awareness of her life — she doesn’t need to numb the pain or go for the glass of vino or sleeping pill. Instead, when she starts to feel overstimulated or chaotic, her automatic go-to is, “I’ll meditate on that….”
She’s made herself the priority and everything else has shifted in her life as a result. Marisa now works for a corporate company in the wellness industry, which is totally aligned with her values - it was an intentional move on her part - she said no to many corporate opportunities and took a little longer to find it, but she trusted the process and believed in herself …and the universe.
Marisa has made incredible connections with old friends, new friends and even with her loving family. She can be found journalling, meditating on a Sunday afternoon in the park with her friends from the her local yoga studio…. her evenings are filled with nurturing self love and fun - she even started writing a book. Oh yes, and she met an incredible partner, feeling such connection - together they have travelled to the Taj Mahal in India and next stop is the Colosseum…. - two of the Seven Wonders of the World!
It’s in those quiet moments that such greatness surfaces — meditation is her anchor!
Ever thought of “tuning in” to what’s happening inside? Maybe you’ve tried it but haven’t been able to overcome the chaos and overstimulation? Don’t worry, you just haven’t found the method that’s the right fit for you...please don’t give up.
So, if you’re ready to watch life unfold in a way that’s filled with happiness, calmness and meaningful moments, I invite you to reach out….it starts with 15 minutes of meditation, but I’d also love to share with you the other daily practices that together with meditation totally changed Marisa’s life <3
-Rebecca xx
P.S. If you’re longing for support with breaking the exhausting cycle of busy addiction in your life, please reach out! I only work with 10 clients in a 3 months period, as I want to be able to fully support my 1;1 clients between the coaching sessions, as of today I am bringing in 3 more people, would you like to join me. Simply send me a note at rebecca@rebeccadouros.com — and I will personally respond.