Struggling to Find Happiness?
The one thing people desire the most is to be happy...like to be happy just because…
I lived the majority of my life on a roller coaster of ups & downs—I was happy when something positive happened to me, and then, quite often, not so happy when my expectations weren’t met.
Can you relate?
Now, it’s obvious we can’t be jumping from the roof with happiness all the time, but why does happiness seem so short lived?
Or does it have to be?
I remember reaching a certain point in my life where I had checked off all the major goals—you know, the career, hubby, house, kids, car, ½ marathon etc…
And, as soon as I accomplished what I set out for, I wasn’t filled anymore, and I was on my search for the next best thing to fill me up.
At a certain point of living a crazy busy life of quick fixes, I was on the road to a burn out. In fact, I thought I was having a midlife crisis, eeekks!
It was at that time that I stopped, took time off from life and went on a mission to figure out how to fill my soul with happiness, once and for all. I just wanted to feel happy—I didn’t want it linked to specific situations, a person, product, nor how much money I had in the bank, how many trips I went on etc…
Ohhh, I learned so much that year, in what I call my Eat Pray Love story! And, the good news is, YES, we can be and feel happy just because…
And, today I’m giving you my 6 magic ‘go-tos’ to just be happy!
1/ BE Happy. Yes, as simple as it sounds. Show up and BE happy, DO happy behaviours and actions, and guess what, you’ll HAVE happiness in your life. It’s your job to BE happy regardless of how you might be feeling or what is happening around you. Your feelings are your choice. You can choose to sit in misery or show up differently and BE happy! Tip: when you get off autopilot thinking, you can be aware of your thoughts and you’ll have the ability to move your attention from anything negative to a positive. Because the truth is, it’s our thoughts that create our emotions.
2/ Don’t base your happiness on circumstances. Meaning, don’t base your happiness on what someone says or doesn’t say to you, or what you buy, or whatever is going on around you. YES, of course we feel happy when we go on holidays, get a raise, get acknowledgement etc… but don’t rely on these to make you happy. And then, any positive circumstances that happen in your life, those are just the cherries on top of the already awesome, happy life you live.
3/ Detach from expectations. So many people, not even knowingly, are constantly disappointed for the sheer fact that they have a certain expectation of how things are going to unfold, and the problem is, it never happens exactly how they want it to go. And guess why—because no one can ever meet your expectations exactly. We all have our own interpretations and meanings based on our own beliefs and life experiences.
Your job is to have a vision/idea/thought, share it and then let go and let it unfold the way it’s supposed to, without control—this is living life on the path of the least resistance. As soon as you try to control the specifics, you’re setting yourself up for frustration and anger...and we know whenever we are in a negative state, we are not creating or moving forward in a positive way. So learn to let go, and focus more on who you’re BEing and what you’re DOing and guess what, you’ll ultimately HAVE what you so desire in one way or another!
4/ Be Present. All we have is this present moment. When we are stuck in the past we create depression, when we’re stuck in the future, we create anxiety. When we are present we can gain perspective and we gain perspective without judgement or worry and we can see everything unfolds as it should. Tip: Of course, everything isn’t always rosey, but when you’re present you have such awareness that if you notice something triggers you, that’s just a sign that you have more work to do on you. (By the way, if you’re struggling with triggers, reach out to me and we can work through them together—my email is at the bottom—and no worries, those struggles will be gone in no time!)
5/ Keep Life Simple. Yes, exactly that, nothing more to add, except, if you have constant drama around you, aka, toxic people, it’s time to set boundaries and declutter. You can start here by answering this—do the 5 people you spend the most time around create positive energy?
6/ Nourish yourself. Meditate, breath deeply, find gratitude in every moment and be aware of what you feed your soul—this is how you create the pathway to more energy, joy and simple fulfillment.
When we are living a mindful life we can get off autopilot and start living with awareness of our thoughts and emotions. It’s in awareness that we can choose to take 100% responsibility for our own life to just BE happy!
The more we understand that no one or nothing can make us deeply happy, and that the real, sustainable, consistent happiness must come from inside oneself first, that’s when you begin to fill yourself up.
So, as you start your morning today, ask yourself these questions—am I a happy person? Or do I live a life of circumstances, letting my happiness rely on what’s happening around me?
You’ll get your answers very quickly, and if you’re still not sure, go back to read and start implementing the 6 magic ‘go-tos’ and I am certain your roller coaster ride of highs and lows will turn into a merry go round of flow and happiness.
Want to dig deeper into a certain situation that you’re stuck on? Send me a private message at Rebecca@RebeccaDouros.com – I personally answer each and every email!