Are you DOing or BEing?
I started working with a new oh-so-awesome client recently who came to me extremely overwhelmed with all the “TO DO” things she felt she needed to get done to start 2019 off on the right foot…
It got me thinking how I use to feel 10 years ago as I was continually searching externally for my happiness. It was a hamster-like feeling, spinning round & round...maybe you can relate?
You’re doing so much that you think you NEED to do (and you’re probably exhausted), and all you truly want is to have more happiness, fulfillment, connection, purpose, and meaning in your life...
I remember signing up for all the email lists of the greatest personal development gurus like Oprah, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield…I read their books, watched Youtube videos—I immersed myself, desperately hunting for that “secret something” that I believed I was missing...
They all seemed to have the magic formula and they definitely looked like they had it all together, and I wanted a piece of that!
I wanted to learn from the BEST, once and for all, and find my internal happiness, purpose, and fulfilment.
If I couldn't get the ‘magic’ formula from them, then who could I get it from?!
Well, close to nine years later, having explored many gurus’ magic formulas, books, videos and emails—oh yes, and therapists—I found that while they all had great insights, nothing truly was life altering (gasp!)...
It wasn't until I learned from my greatest Mentor and Coach that, first and foremost, I had to take a real good look in the mirror, get off autopilot thinking, dig deeper internally and stop looking externally for my true happiness!
It all starts from within, with who we are BEing—what characteristics do you need to not merely think about, but to really BE in order to achieve true happiness? It could be authentic, adventurous, courageous, kind, strong, confident…(insert whatever characteristics come to mind for you!)
Yes, that might sound simple, and actually it is—the hard part is staying committed to the process for yourself! So, it’s important to begin by getting clear on how you want your life to feel, and what sort of characteristics you need to embody, how you need to BE—in order to create the life you desire.
So, take a moment to really look inside and consider this question:
What do you need to feel and how do you need to BE right here, right now, in order to start living the life you truly want?
The characteristic I need to be today is: HAPPY.
BE happy, DO happy things and guess what, you’ll HAVE more happiness!
It’s that simple! BE. DO. HAVE.
So I ask, what vibe are you putting out into the world in this moment? Does it match your internal desire to be HAPPY (or brave, authentic, etc.—insert your characteristic)?
Where do you put your attention? Does it match your internal desire to be HAPPY (insert your characteristic)?
Are your thoughts helping you? Do they match your internal desire of HAPPINESS (again, insert your own desired characteristic)?
Look at your life today to get your answers as to why or why not you are, or are not, living the life you so desire.
The more you can be in touch with your thoughts and get off autopilot, the more you can focus on:
Who you’re BEing - what characteristic you are being
What you’re Doing - do your behaviours match your characteristics?
And then, volia, you will begin to HAVE what you so desire in your life…
As I told my client, stop with the list of things TO DO (busyness can be a distraction from what we really need to focus in on). Instead, take the time to get clear on your desires and what you want to achieve, whether in your wellness, relationships, career etc.
Stop spinning around on that ol’ hamster wheel, doing a lot but not things that are meaningful or purposeful for helping you get to where you truly want to be in your life.
Get off autopilot thinking, be aware of where your attention is...
Start BEing the characteristic that you so desire to be...and watch as your life begins to transform!